Since I've been a homeowner - which has been extremely empowering, by the way - I find myself keeping a running tally of chores that I don't mind doing and chores that will definitely become my future husband's. It's probably not fair for me to decide his chores all on my own, so it seems much more polite to write him a little love note letting him know what the job description is BEFORE he signs up for it.
So here is episode 1 of what I'm sure could become quite a lengthy series...
Dear Future Husband,
Doing the dishes is totally no big deal. The cooking part I like too. But today, as I was pre-rinsing everything for the dishwasher, the little spout for the juicer went down the garbage disposal. Down into the dark and scary depths of the garbage disposal.
I sat there. Staring at the drain for a minute, calculating my options. Attempt 1 for retrieving the spout involved putting tongs down there to try to bring it back up. No luck. I tried holding back the little rubbery things on the drain cover in an effort to SEE down the abyssmal garbage disposal. Still no luck. At this point, I considered how much I actually use the disposal and whether or not I could survive without it ever again. But the spout is pretty necessary for the juicer, and to be honest, I was hoping to put the waste pulp from the juice I just made down the disposal anyway. Drats. I couldn't ignore the issue.
So I finally had to roll up my sleeve (which was unnecessary, because as it turns out, it's not as deep down there as I thought), and put my hand down the disposal drain. It took to two seconds to fish out the spout, but in those two seconds, all sorts of nightmares flashed through my mind. What if it turned on all by itself? What if there is a monster in there? What if there are decrepid bits of rotten things down there?! (Even though I use those Plinko things to "clean" it regularly.)
The point is, this is definitely going to be your job to reach down the disposal for ill-placed items. Yes, I know my hand is smaller and fits easier down there, but I just really can't go through the emotions and stress again. Naturally, I try really hard to avoid things going down there, but if they do, expect a phone call or a note left on the sink alerting you that your lack of fear and knack at finding things is needed.
You're the best. Love you.
XOXO
jam
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Having my best (new) year ever!
Surprise, surprise, I'm a capricorn. For those of you who don't give a crap about your horoscope, you probably have no idea what that means. And maybe you shouldn't give a crap about your horoscope, but I do. Because it's crazy weird how spot-on it is sometimes! No, I don't follow astrology as a belief system, I just think it's fun to read. Like reading the comics... I mean, they ARE right next to the comics in the paper.
So Capricorns are symbolized by goats. I never understood why until just now: Goats like to be on top of mountains... and capricorns are ambitious. Goats are stubborn... and capricorns are resilient and dedicated. Goats are kind of ugly and smelly... and capricorns are kind of ugly and smelly. Not really, but capricorns are really uninterested in flashy, worldy, material things. That kind of correlates... no?
Anyway, that was a really strange segue to say that, like a true Capricorn, I always start the new year with some big ambitions. I methodically write down my resolutions, categorized by "Personal", "Professional", "Spiritual", and "Financial" goals. Then I organize them in rank order by time horizon it takes to achieve the goal. And then I assign them an "A", "B", or "C" grade based on priority. Sometimes I chart them on a calendar too. Oh, and each resolution gets a little box drawn next to it that I thoroughly enjoy checking when I'm done with that goal. All of this later gets translated into an Excel spreadsheet that I set an alert on my calendar to revisit in June for my mid-year update.
So yeah. Resolutions are usually big business.
This year, as I started to think about what things I wanted to accomplish this year... I had a different experience. I had some goals that came to mind that were just standard living type chores.
"Pay off my student loan"
"Achieve my performance goals at work"
"Read books"
"Floss more"
Boring. None of them really felt exciting or meaningful. In fact, this happened to me last year too, so I started the whole "Do something exciting/challenging/you're afraid of" goal instead. And I still really like that idea, but I have my 2012 one picked out already. Run the half-marathon. It'll be over in February. So... what else?
The more I tried to invent creative or interesting or awe-inspiring resolutions, the less it seemed to be worth my time. So, I stopped.
No resolutions this year.
Scratch that - one resolution this year. Have the best year ever. Live my best life the best I can. The rest will work itself out.
Can't wait to check this one off the list.
Happy 2012!
xoxo
So Capricorns are symbolized by goats. I never understood why until just now: Goats like to be on top of mountains... and capricorns are ambitious. Goats are stubborn... and capricorns are resilient and dedicated. Goats are kind of ugly and smelly... and capricorns are kind of ugly and smelly. Not really, but capricorns are really uninterested in flashy, worldy, material things. That kind of correlates... no?
Anyway, that was a really strange segue to say that, like a true Capricorn, I always start the new year with some big ambitions. I methodically write down my resolutions, categorized by "Personal", "Professional", "Spiritual", and "Financial" goals. Then I organize them in rank order by time horizon it takes to achieve the goal. And then I assign them an "A", "B", or "C" grade based on priority. Sometimes I chart them on a calendar too. Oh, and each resolution gets a little box drawn next to it that I thoroughly enjoy checking when I'm done with that goal. All of this later gets translated into an Excel spreadsheet that I set an alert on my calendar to revisit in June for my mid-year update.
So yeah. Resolutions are usually big business.
This year, as I started to think about what things I wanted to accomplish this year... I had a different experience. I had some goals that came to mind that were just standard living type chores.
"Pay off my student loan"
"Achieve my performance goals at work"
"Read books"
"Floss more"
Boring. None of them really felt exciting or meaningful. In fact, this happened to me last year too, so I started the whole "Do something exciting/challenging/you're afraid of" goal instead. And I still really like that idea, but I have my 2012 one picked out already. Run the half-marathon. It'll be over in February. So... what else?
The more I tried to invent creative or interesting or awe-inspiring resolutions, the less it seemed to be worth my time. So, I stopped.
No resolutions this year.
Scratch that - one resolution this year. Have the best year ever. Live my best life the best I can. The rest will work itself out.
Can't wait to check this one off the list.
Happy 2012!
xoxo
JAM
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