Amen, sister.

Today someone asked me, point blank, "What do you want for your life?"

I'm a person with dreams and aspirations, but the question kind of caught me off-guard. I've been a little wrapped up in my day-to-day life... I haven't really thought about my next big life goal lately.

This adorable little girl has it figured out:

Ditto, girlfriend.

xoxo
jam

P.S. I do have a job that I think is special. <3

A Christmas Gift that REALLY Gives

I don’t know about you, but I always struggle with wanting to give gifts to my loved ones that capture how much I care about them. I want the gifts I give to be meaningful, special, significant - and not something they’ll want to return or put at the back of their closet, or worse REGIFT. And I want to do all that without focusing on the actual gift as the reason for celebrating Christmas. For a couple of years now, I’ve felt this sadness about the way so many of us – including me - lose sight of the reason for Christmas… until today.

As I was perusing my usual blogs and friends’ updates, I came across a coworker who had purchased a goat for a hungry family in a developing country. What? A goat? For strangers? I had to know more. And now, I’m in LOVE with this concept.

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Heifer International (http://www.heifer.org/) is a global nonprofit organization that has taken a proactive stance to ending world hunger and poverty. Instead of filling the cups of hungry people, their mission is to provide families and communities with livestock and crop education and resources so that they can feed themselves. And the most amazing part of the project? Those who receive help from Heifer have to agree to give an offspring of their animal or seeds from their produce to someone else in need – they have to pass it on.

Heifer has deeply impacted communities across the globe: Africa, Latin America, Eastern Europe, Asia and North America. The stories of families who have taken some honeybees or a flock of chickens and not only improved their own diet and nutrition, but have given bees or chicks to their neighbors and sold honey or eggs to supplement their income are amazing. I read a particularly moving story about a family that struggled to make 10 cents a day to feed themselves. One flock of chickens changed everything, and now they make $2 a day… which still sounds tragic, but that’s enough to eat healthy, nutritious meals and provide for a much more comfortable life in Uganda!

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Not to be cynical, but I DID get concerned about the wellbeing of these animals; what if the goat dies because it isn’t properly cared for? What if they kill it to eat it? Heifer thought about that too. They have a veterinary staff that educates people and monitors the ongoing health of the livestock. Heifer is founded on 12 cornerstones, one of which is responsible and humane animal treatment. Other cornerstones are passing on the gift, sustainability and self-reliance, sharing and caring, nutrition and income, and family focus.

{I also love that they support gender equality and require that women and wives be involved in the decisions and management of the production.}

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After spending a little time reading through the site and looking at the gift catalog, it just seemed to click in my head and heart. The whole reason I love giving gifts – and don’t get me wrong, I LOVE giving gifts – is because it feels so good to show people that I care about them and want to do something special for them. THIS is something I can do in my family’s honor that is REALLY significant. My usual little gifts and trinkets are fun for a while (or never at all, like the time I got my stepdad NASCAR tickets that he forgot he had and didn’t go. boohoo), but giving a cow for milk or beans to start a coffee crop would be a gift that truly matters. That’s what my family deserves – gifts that change the world. That’s how much I love them.

I encourage you to rebel against the consumer Christmas this year. Consider doing something really magical by adding a community in Guatemala (or Uganda, or the Gulf Coast, or Kosovo) to your Christmas list. Make a gift in honor of someone you love to share their legacy with strangers.

My Grandpa isn’t here anymore, but he was a wonderful man, and I’d like to share his love and compassion with others. So Merry Christmas to a family across the globe who will be receiving a flock of chicks from my family this year in honor of Dennis McCann.

Grandpa with some of his grandkids (and Grandma)... Lovely man.

No matter what you do, do it with love and good tidings.

XOXO

JAM

What I love about you...

There are some people who you love because you were born into a family that includes them, and you have no natural choice but to be connected by blood and family ties. However, I am blessed to have some family members who I love for reasons that aren’t hereditary; I love them just for being themselves.

Tammy, my Dad, Chad and I with Baby Conor in June 2008

My stepmom Tammy came into my life when I was in junior high, which has to be a tough time to get to know a teenaged girl. Hormones. Attitude. Defensiveness. What a nightmare. But Tammy isn’t like any stepmother described in fairy tales or “stepmonster” anecdotes. She dispelled all those stepmother fears I had and became an incredibly important person in my life from the very beginning of our relationship. Which I thought our relationship wouldn’t go well after I was busted playing with her makeup while Nair-ing my legs in her bathroom when she and my dad were just dating… but she’s a forgiving person. And even better, she later taught me how to properly Nair.

Tammy and I picking up Dad from the airport...

The first thing I fell in love with about Tammy is her selflessness. She is honestly the least selfish human I’ve ever met. She loves openly and quickly, shares everything she has, cares deeply for her loved ones and works tirelessly to make sure everyone around her is happy, healthy and having fun. She is selfless to a fault… one time she got a gift card for Christmas and bought OTHER PEOPLE stuff with it. She’s just that type of person. Hence, I’ve resorted to getting her monogrammed items so she is forced to use them for herself…

My family under the Century Tree during my A&M graduation.

Another thing I love about Tammy is her friendship. She is a true and loyal friend. When Tammy is your friend, you know that you can trust her with your most unguarded thoughts, secrets and stories and she will laugh with you, cry with you or help you come up with a plan for revenge. Whichever response is most appropriate. And she treats all her friends that way. I’ve never heard her talk bad about anyone, certainly never a friend… that’s just not how she works.

But what I love most about Tammy is the void she filled in our family. I love how much Tammy loves my dad; I used to worry about him being lonely or not having someone to take care of him. Now I know that he is going to be okay. I love how Tammy loved Tiffany and I before she ever met us and became our immediate friend and confidante. And I love how Tammy has grown our family by bringing Chad and Conor into the world. Tammy completes our family and was meant to be a part of all of our lives. I love that she was brave enough to take on the challenge of marrying a man with 2 girls, a career that demands his service and sacrifice and a “clean-freakiness” that is a little unbearable at times. God bless her bravery!

I love these two crazy kids.

I just can’t imagine my life without her. And that is what a true family is… the circle of people who you need to survive. She is as much my family as any person who shares my DNA, and these are just a few of the many reasons I love her so much. Her New Years’ Eve pina coladas are also up there on the list.

Best friends on the beach!

XOXO

jam

Love one another

This video has had me in tears at least 4 times this week:

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I am broken-hearted over the thought that there are young people in the world that don’t think life is worth living anymore because they feel alone, misunderstood, guilty or ashamed for who they are. Why? Because someone around them said, either directly or indirectly, that who they are is wrong or bad or unwanted. They’ve barely begun to live, and already they want to die. This is an incredibly tragic wake up call. It has to be a call to start loving each other more and hating each other less.

I’ve been thinking about what we are capable of doing to each other with our angry speech and hateful thoughts. Our words matter. They wound. They have the power to make people hate themselves and cease to see love or hope in their worlds. Despite the old rhyme about sticks and stones, sadly it turns out words can harm worse than broken bones; they can kill.

I don’t have children, but I have little brothers. I worry about them being bullied or being bullies… and the truth is the only thing I can do is love them enough that they never question their place in my heart or our family or in this world. And also love them enough to show them that loving other people is a more fulfilling way to live.

It’s not that hard just to love each other. It really isn’t. And I’m not even just talking about gay or straight, rich or poor, cool crowd or dorks…. I’m just talking about caring about people. I don’t have to agree with everyone, but I can care about their well-being, (or spirit, soul or whatever YOU believe is the essence of a person) enough to not destroy them with my words. In fact, I don’t feel any better or prouder or get any joy from saying something hurtful to or about someone… If you DO get joy or satisfaction from hurting others… seek help. You have issues of your own.

Compassion without reservation. I’m making this my motto. Please do too. I think it can only be good for all of us.

XOXO

JAM

P.S. Thank you Joel Burns for speaking up. You're making a difference.